Thank you so much for stopping by. Christmas is almost here, and this is probably one of the darkest seasons for me, and much of my family. It's been difficult to concentrate on so many levels. I am sincerely sorry for the challenge being so abandoned like this... but honestly, I have had nothing left at the end of each day to even think of logging on to my computer.
My grandmother passed away the Sunday before Thanksgiving, just when we thought things were looking up. She and my grandfather were married for 64 years. He is 91, and they were always together. I can't imagine the loss he feels. My mother was with her at the time, and her sadness is at a depth I've never seen. I try to help, and try to comfort, but I don't always feel I am. Telling the kids was the hardest thing I think I have ever done.
My 15 year old bird, Kiwi, passed away the next Sunday. He was family, too! I will miss his crazy call of the Amazon, and his little chirping at the birds outside on the windchime hanger.
The very next Sunday, Jeff's father passed away unexpectedly. Jeff drove the 13 hours to Virginia to help clear his things and put him to rest without us. I was terrified he wouldn't make it back, but some of that could have been my delirium from strep, Yes, that's right, throughout all this the kids were sick a day or two each week for three weeks in a row, then Maisie got strep, and then I got it around the time Jeff left. Good news is he made it back yesterday (and made me go to the doctor today!). His dad had our Christmas card ready to go. And instead of signing his name, and a short message of love, he actually wrote a personal note to each of us. Like he knew.
So it's Christmas. I am trying to make it as normal as usual. But fighting the sadness not only for yourself, but your husband and kids and mom this time of year AND keep things normal is unreal. And I am So.Not.A.Superwoman.
But Christmas is about our Savior's birth, family and love. And we're trying to concentrate on that. We are reminiscing and loving each other and trying to find simple joys this season. And we KNOW that's the gift of Christ's birth gives us assurance of being with these loved ones again. And that is a peace you can feel and hold onto.
I keep thinking about this verse. I shared it with the kids when trying to explain that when you love Jesus with all your heart, you rejoice in the day you can go home. Our real home in Heaven. And Meme and Jerry are rejoicing, and we should try to not be so sad.
For we live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away
from the body and at home with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:7-8 NIV